Dear You,
Well, it’s been a year now since we’ve spoken, and so much has changed. I’m nearly there, nearly over it, it’s just this that’s holding me back. I see you’ve had no trouble forgetting about it all, but I’m sorry, but I just can’t do that. You have no idea what you done to me, and I guess you never will. This is as close as I will ever get to confronting you, so I might as well go for it.
You’re a class A cunt, and there’s no denying that. You hurt me more than anyone else ever has in my entire life. I don’t know if it was intentional, or if you were just so naive that you couldn’t possibly see the profound effect your abuse had on me. You turned me into a nasty person, and I just had to deal with that.You pretty much broke my relationship with my parents, and my friends, as well as nearly ruining my education and future. I’ve built it all up again on my own, but now and then I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if I was still good enough for you. I’d probably hate myself right now if you were still around.
But you aren’t.
I saw you the other day, and it surprised me. I didn’t feel like I thought I would. I didn’t feel scared, or happy. I was angry. I’m so fucking angry with you. I will never possibly comprehend how you could treat someone like that, and just not care. You use people. You take the best form people and destroy them. It happened to me, it’s happened to her. I tried to warn her, we all did. But you had already got her. That makes me even more angry.
No part of me wishes I didn’t meet you though. I can’t explain how bad you made me feel, but you also made me strong. I won’t let the same happen again, ever. Your violence, mental abuse, and just general twat-ness has made me learn. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you, without you I wouldn’t be who I was today, but I still have to deal with the consequences. I push the people closest to me away, because I think they might hurt me. I tend to be a bitch so people can’t take advantage of me. And I will never let anyone in the way I let you in.
I’ve glad we’ve both gone our separate ways, and I wish you all the best.
